We all know that a new relationship can be exciting in the beginning.  You may also know that relationships take work too no matter if it is a friendship or an intimate relationship.  As time passes, you may feel frustrated, get annoyed with your partner, or you don’t quite understand why some of those warm and fuzzy feelings have started to fade. If you would like some tools to help you build a successful relationship then you will want to learn some common relationship issues and ways to resolve them.  Shall we get started?

Communication

If you find a sudden rise in misunderstandings, fights, and frustration in your relationship this may be due to a lack of communication. Communication problems can lead to feeling unheard and invalidated, which can quickly lead to resentment and other relationship issues between partners.

Solution

Communication is truly a skill and learning how to communicate effectively in your relationship will be beneficial.  Both of you should learn how to listen without judging or interrupting, and how to get your point across without being offensive or belittling the other.

Figure out what communication style works best for you as a couple.  Remember you are a team working on finding a solution together.

Financial Stress

It is not a big secret that finances are a big stressor in life.  Now think of two people trying to balance finances together, it is only natural you may find challenges in this situation.  One person may be on the frugal side and the other may be more on the extravagant side.  Whichever it is from time to time you may have differing views about how to manage the finances, and in turn, it may lead to a conflict in the relationship. 

Solution

This is another opportunity to exercise your communication skills and have a serious talk about money. Try to plan out a budget that you both agree on and stick to it. Also, if an unexpected expense arises, be transparent with one another and talk through the best ways to address the issue.

Household Responsibilities

It’s easy to become angry or resentful when you feel like you are doing more than your fair share of the household responsibilities.  You may feel like you are the only one that unloads the dishwasher or you are the only one who puts the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser when it runs out.  This anger and resentment could build over time and cause a mini-war in the house.    

Solution 

Sit down and discuss who is responsible for what, and stick to it.  You may need to be a little understanding and flexible when one person becomes busier than the other.  It may also be a good time to discuss household pet peeves and see if you can come to an easy resolution.  You may find that the one person who always leaves the toilet paper roll empty is simply unaware and has no problem being more conscious of it.

Parenting

Of course, having kids is an absolute blessing – but it also requires a lot of dedication and effort from both parents.  There may be times that you don’t always agree on specific details about raising your child or how to address issues when they arise.  Again, those disagreements can cause stress in your relationship.   

Solution 

Discuss these topics and share how you feel about those specific parenting details.  Sometimes understanding the “why” behind your partner’s parenting decisions can shed a lot of light on the situation.  Find ways to come up with a solution you both can agree on.

Infidelity

This could mean various things to different people.  However, if you or your partner has had an emotional affair or sexual affair or there has been flirting or kissing outside of the relationship – these can all be put in the infidelity category depending on where you draw the line. When infidelity occurs, trust is broken in the relationship and someone feels betrayed. 

Solution

Communication, again, is going to be a vital part of the solution if you agree to work on the relationship after infidelity.  Seeking professional help (couple’s counseling) during this time is highly recommended.

Expectations

Part of human nature is to have expectations.  Expectations for any relationship – personal or professional.  Having expectations without communicating them to the other person can lead to misunderstandings and other problems in the relationship.

Solution 

This part can be a little tricky.  Once you have communicated your expectations it is really up to the other person if those are realistic expectations for them.  It comes down to communication and maybe a little negotiating depending on whether you both feel a fair compromise could be attainable.

Growing Apart

At one point or another, we have heard or experienced it personally, “I guess we just grew apart” as one of the reasons a relationship ended.  Whether it is a friendship or a romantic relationship it can apply to both situations. 

Solution

Growing apart can be avoided by nurturing your relationship.  Spending time with one another and finding ways to bring back that “spark”.  Sometimes we get so absorbed in the day-to-day stuff we forget to “date” each other.  Set aside time for a date night, girls’ night, or guys’ night.

Jealousy

If your partner starts asking for your whereabouts, distrusting you, checking up on you, distancing or stifling you, and demonstrating concern about your affection towards them.  This behavior may just be a reflection of previous experiences.

Solution 

Both partners will need to do their part to make an effort. If your partner is jealous, be transparent and honest with them. With time they may realize they can trust you.

Lack Of Appreciation

Feeling appreciated is important to so many.  We all desire to be appreciated in every aspect of our lives, whether it’s in our careers, within our families, or among our friends and peers.  If we feel as though we are being taken for granted it could result in a resignation at work or ending a relationship.

Solution

That feeling of being appreciated is motivating and helps us to be committed to the relationship.  Saying thank you goes a long way.  If you feel unappreciated, be sure to communicate that with your partner, etc.

Sex

When problems with your sex life develop it can put a lot of stress on a relationship.  Being intimate with your partner is one of the important components that keep your bond strong.  Discussing the issue sooner rather than later is important.

Solution 

Once you have discussed the issues you are having, try to develop a course of action.  Maybe it is a time issue or you are feeling overwhelmed in other areas of life.  Talking it out and finding ways to solve it will be beneficial for both of you.  It could be as simple as asking for help with the things in life that overwhelm you or carving out time for some romance.  

You may have noticed a common theme on how to resolve these common relationship issues.  Communication.  Take the time to share how you feel and work together as a team to resolve them.  Remember you are on the same team working together in your relationship.  

GYN Women’s Centre of Lakewood Ranch offers comprehensive, compassionate care for all women at every stage of life.  Need an appointment?  Schedule a consultation here.